Setting up house alone for the first time?
If you’ve just left a sibling or two who practices a what’s-yours-is-mine philosophy, or decided to try something new after a succession of bad roommates, you might feelbeyondready.
But maybe you aren’t positively thrilled by your new circumstances. If you just went through abreakup有了一个现场伴侣，或者制定了其他计划，这些计划并没有解决您的希望，您可能会因为蒙上阴影而感到失望。
No matter what you’re feeling — excitement,stress, or anything in between— it’s normal to have some nervousness, too.
But you can absolutely live alone, safely, without feeling alone in the world. Here are some pointers to help you embrace your newfound solitude and find fulfillment in living solo.
Living alone can help you find the time to work on your most important relationship — the one you have with yourself.
Until you live alone for the first time, it’s pretty common to spend most of your time in the company of others. When you focus on maintaining strong connections with friends, family, and romantic partners, though, your relationship with yourself might take a backseat.
If you’re realizing you may not know yourself as well as you imagined, now you have the chance to really占有of your life. Aself-discovery journey可能是开始这一新冒险的好方法
您可能会考虑自己喜欢做的空闲时间，最喜欢的食物，以及您是否真的喜欢看所有Netflix（并不是说这有什么问题）。但是，也不要忘记更深层的问题。
If you’ve just left home or ended a relationship, exploring future goals and personal values can help you gain some insight on your identity and the path you want your life to take. A well-developedsense of self可以使您更容易识别您想要和需要的东西relationshipswith others.
Don’t worry if none of this seems immediately clear, since this type of exploration can take time.
Tip: Tryjournalingto track and sort through your thoughts.
Along with soul searching, living alone gives you the chance to examine your relationships and note the ones that don’t do much for your well-being.
Maybe your roommate’s friends automatically became your friends, but you never grew close to any of them. Or you spent most of the last year hanging out with your partner, guiltily feeling the distance between you and your friends widen.
If these stories sound familiar, take some time to identify positive relationships with people who lift you up and add value to your life. Going forward, you can prioritize these important connections.
Remember, you’re under no obligation to spend your free time with people who make you unhappy, so invest your time in the meaningful friendships.
No matter how much you enjoy living alone, you may feellonelyfrom time to time. These feelings might come up around the times of day you associate with seeing people.
If you and your previous roommates usually all returned from work at the same time, coming home to an empty house might be rough.
And if you’ve just left a relationship? It’s absolutely normal to miss thatintimacyof snuggling up next to your partner (but it’s also totally normal to love having the bed to yourself now).
There’s good news, though: Knowing where loneliness comes from can help you manage it. And being alone doesn’t have to translate to loneliness.
If you’re a morning person and really miss conversation over breakfast, try planning brunch with friends. When your evenings feel quiet and empty, turn on some music as you unwind from work and make dinner.
如果您的孤独本质上更加身体上，请不要忽视hugging yourself.
Always longed for a furry companion? Now’s your chance, since you no longer need to worry about a roommate’s allergies or a sibling’sfear of dogs.
With a pet, you’ll never come back to an empty house. Pets also offer physical comfort (stroking a dog can release增强情绪激素) and entertainment, as countless pet videos on YouTube prove.
Days feel a little aimless? Having a pet makes it easier to stick to a schedule, since they need regular feeding and care. If you need a reason to get out more, a dog will hold you accountable for afew daily walks.
不能有猫或狗？考虑鸟，鱼，爬行动物或小型哺乳动物。它们可能不太社交或可爱，但他们仍然可以做好宠物。在做出决定之前，只需阅读他们的护理 - 有些需要特殊的饮食，而另一些人可能会忍受比您准备承诺的多年。
Speaking of commitment issues, you can also look into fostering programs. Many shelters have programs that allow you to temporarily provide a home for animals in need. The animal gets to unwind in a cozy home, and you get to have a pet without all the commitment — everyone wins!
Loneliness doesn’t always strike where you might imagine it would.
According to
是的，这意味着独自生活实际上可能会导致您比那些没有的人孤独。
关键是探索新方法to connect in your community.
不确定如何连接？
Here are a few starters:
- Check community schools, shelters, and libraries for volunteering opportunities.
- 参加社区活动，例如游行，人行道销售和烧烤。
- Get acquainted with neighbors, especially those seem to have shared interests.
- Frequent small businesses and get to know other regulars.
Following a regular schedule can help boost purpose andmotivation, improving overall well-being as a result.
Routines often help relievestressand loneliness, since keeping busy can distract you fromunwanted feelings. Making regular plans with friends and loved ones can also help keep loneliness and anxiety at bay.
只需避免打包您的日程安排toofull. Overbooking yourself can lead you tocheck out mentallyand keep you frommindfully appreciatingthe things you enjoy. Instead, you might end up simply going through the motions, which can create additional challenges.
一些要考虑的提示：
- 每周安排时间进行房屋清洁，差事和其他杂务，以免产生。
- Try togo to bed and wake uparound the same general time each day.
- Set time aside forrelaxationand hobbies.
And finally, while a routine can do you a lot of good, there’s no need to plan out every minute. Leaving room for spontaneity has plenty of benefits, too!
Exploring new interests is an important part of self-discovery.
在观众面前进行实验并不总是那么容易。您可能对在家庭成员，室友或浪漫伴侣面前尝试新事物感到紧张。如果您完全缺乏艺术才能怎么办？还是发现您不喜欢在课程和练习上花费时间和金钱后弹吉他？
While these questions have merit, it’s also worth considering that a life without a little trial and failure can be pretty limited. Doing the same things with the same people isn’t necessarily bad. But breaking out oftypical patternscan expand your perspective, help you grow, and connect you with new people.
现在，没有人看着，挑战自己探索您一直渴望尝试的东西 - 新的烹饪风格，手工艺品或DIY项目，physical activities, even new genres of music and movies.
在线视频教程或操作博客可以帮助您在投资大量现金之前确定您是否真的对某些事物感兴趣。
While interior design may not help banish feelings of loneliness, creating a space that’s wholly your own can go a long way toward helping you feel more comfortable.
在新地方感到不安或迷失方向是常见的。但是，当您努力使它真正感觉像家时，它变成了一个放松的庇护所，您想在漫长的一天结束时回到某个地方。
As you settle into, scout out garage sales and thrift stores for unique pieces. When choosing linens and bedding, go with the colors that draw your eye or just make you feel good.
Arrange your furniture how you want it and display the art that makes you happy — because no one can tell you otherwise.
Consider adding a few plants, too. Even if you don’t have space to garden,indoor plantscan brighten up your home and improve your well-being.
When you don’t have anyone else to consider, established habits can start to slip. Maybe you give up on a regular bedtime, skip nutritious meals in favor of snacks, wear the same clothes for 2 days, and finish the whole bottle of wine because, why not?
偶尔做这些事情可能没什么大不了的，但要做一个patternof it probably won’t do you any favors.
Goodself-carepractices, however, can improve your emotional and physical well-being, and feeling good can make it easier to manage loneliness more productively.
Try these strategies:
- Set time aside formeal planningand food preparation to avoid relying on snacks or deliveryall the time.
- Find a workout buddy if you have a hard time mustering upmotivation有规律的锻炼。
- Trymeditationto increase your awareness of what you’re feeling from day to day.
- Experiment with sleep and wake times to determine what feels most natural for you.
Online meditation options
Read our review of thebest online meditation optionsto find the right fit for you.
独自生活可以释放。您无需穿衣服就可以离开房间或用警告标记您的零食，您可以与自己交谈而不担心谁能听到。
The benefits of solo living extend well beyond these immediate pluses, though.
Living alone can:
- help boost creativity and imagination
- 帮助您找到时间recharge
- lead to greater personal growth
- allow you to focus on passions
Spending time outside不仅要让您离开屋子，还可以帮助您在缓解压力的同时感觉与世界更加紧密联系。
Spend some time outside and really listen to the world around you — whether that’s birdsong, waves, running water, rustling trees. This can strengthen feelings of compassion and kinship toward others on the planet, helping you feel less alone.
独自生活并不适合所有人。您可能不会享受长期的孤独，这完全可以。承认您的需求可以帮助您采取步骤寻找支持您幸福的生活状况。
If you’re having a hard time with persistent loneliness or other emotional distress, a therapist can help you navigate these feelings, identify when loneliness might relate to something more serious, such as depression, and explore helpful coping strategies
Even if you prefer living on your own, it’s not always easy. You might value personal space but still have moments where you long for human interaction. Times of crisis that make it difficult to connect with others canisolate youand cause further distress.
但是不要忘记，即使你一个人居住，你也不是trulyalone. Your loved ones are only a call or text away — whether you’re sick, sad, or just need to tell someone the largest spider you’ve ever seen has taken up residence in your shower.
Crystal Raypole has previously worked as a writer and editor for GoodTherapy. Her fields of interest include Asian languages and literature, Japanese translation, cooking, natural sciences, sex positivity, and mental health. In particular, she’s committed to helping decrease stigma around mental health issues.