I feel something subtle happen when I don’t make my mental health the enemy.
我很长一段时间以来都拒绝了心理健康标签。在我的大部分青春期和成年期的大部分时间里，我没有告诉任何人我经历了焦虑或沮丧。
I kept it to myself. I believed that talking about it made it stronger.
在那段时间里，我的许多经历都是一场挣扎，我以自我施加的孤立经历了他们。我避免了诊断和不信任的精神科医生。当我成为妈妈时，一切都结束了。
当我只有我时，我可以笑着忍受它。我可以通过焦虑和沮丧来使自己的束手无策，没有人更明智。但是我儿子叫我出去。即使是一个小孩，我也看到了我微妙的心情如何影响他的行为和幸福感。
如果我在表面上看起来很酷，但在下面感到焦虑，我的儿子就表现出来。当我周围的成年人无法发现任何事情时，我的儿子通过他的举动表明他知道有些事情已经出现。
This was especially clear when we traveled.
如果我有一些anticipatory anxietyas we prepared for a flight, my son would start bouncing off the walls. All of his listening skills went out the window. He seemed to gain an inhuman amount of energy.
He turned into a pinball in the security line, and it took every ounce of my focus to keep him from bumping into strangers or knocking over someone’s suitcase. The tension would mount until I could breathe a sigh of relief at our gate.
When I settled down, he was perfectly calm.
Once I experienced the link between my emotions and his enough times that it was beyond a reasonable doubt, I started to reach out. I started to realize that I couldn’t do it alone, that it actually made me a better parent to ask for support.
Although I didn’t want to ask for help when it came to me, everything was different when it came to my son.
Still, when I seek support for symptoms of anxiety anddepression, I don’t approach it as a zero-sum game.
That is, it isn’t me versus my mental health.
Although the difference may seem like semantics, I feel something subtle happen when I don’t make my mental health the enemy.
Instead, I think of anxiety and depression as part of what makes me human. These states aren’t who I am but experiences that come and go.
我不是“对抗”,所以我在看them waft in and out of my life, like a breeze might stir a curtain over a windowpane. Their presence is temporary, even if it takes a long time to pass.
I don’t have to feel as though I’m at war. Instead, I can think of these passing states as familiar visitors, which makes them feel much more innocuous.
This doesn’t mean I don’t take steps to take care of myself and improve my state of mind. I certainly do, and I’ve learned that I need to. At the same time, I don’t have to spend so much energy resisting, correcting, and faking it.
I’m able to strike a balance between taking care and taking charge. Pushing away a deep pattern takes a tremendous amount of energy. Noticing that it’s come to visit takes something different.
那是接受的。
我提醒自己，我不必“解决”自己的心理状态，从而深深地感到宽慰。他们没有错或不好。他们只是。为此，我可以选择不认同他们。
Instead of, “Oh no, I feel anxious again. Why can’t I just feel normal? What’s wrong with me?” I can say, “My body is feeling scared again. It’s not a nice feeling, but I know it will pass.”
Anxiety is often an automatic response, and I don’t have much control over it once it’s acute. When I’m there, I can either fight it, run from it, or surrender to it.
When I fight, I usually find that I make it stronger. When I run, I find that I only get temporary relief. But in those rare moments when I can真正投降让它通过我，我没有赋予它任何力量。
它没有掌控我。
A wonderful resource I’ve used that teaches this “surrender” approach to anxiety isILovePanicAttacks.com。创始人是盖特（Geert），他是比利时的一个人，一生中的大部分时间都经历了焦虑和恐慌。
盖特（Geert）继续执行自己的个人使命，以达到焦虑的最低点，并通过他非常谦虚和脚踏实地的课程分享了他的发现。
从饮食变化到冥想，Geert尝试了一切。虽然他不是认证的健康专业人士，但他分享了自己作为一个真正的人，试图过着不惧怕的生活的诚实经历。因为他的旅程是如此真实和熟悉，所以我发现他的观点令人耳目一新。
In the course is a specific technique called the tsunami method. The idea is that if you allow yourself to surrender, much like you would if you were being carried away by a huge tidal wave, you can simply float through the焦虑的经验rather than resist it.
After giving it a try, I recommend this approach as a different perspective on panic and anxiety. It’s extremely freeing to realize that you can let go of the struggle against fear and instead allow yourself to float with it.
The same theory can be true for depression, but it looks a little different.
当抑郁症发生时，我发现我必须继续。我必须继续锻炼，继续做我的工作，继续照顾我的孩子，继续吃蔬菜。我必须做这些事情，即使它确实非常困难。
But what I don’t have to do is berate myself for feeling that way. I don’t have to have a battle with my mind that lists all the reasons I’m failing as a person and thus experiencing depression.
At this point in my life, I’m fairly certain that there isn’t a soul on earth who hasn’t felt depressed at least once in their life. I truly believe that the full spectrum of emotions is simply part of the human experience.
That’s not to make light of clinical depression. I certainly advocate that depressioncan and should be treated由有执照的卫生专业人员。这些治疗方法可能从一个人到另一个人都大不相同。
I’m speaking of an attitude shift in how I relate to my experience of depression. In fact, letting go of my resistance to diagnosis actually led me to seek help in the first place. I no longer felt threatened by the idea of being labeled.
Instead of allowing these feelings to define me as a person, I can take a detached point of view. I can say, “Here I am having a very human experience.” I don’t have to judge myself.
当我以这种方式看待它时，我不会感到难过，少于或孤立。我感觉与人类的联系更加紧密。这是一个非常重要的转变，因为我的抑郁和焦虑经历的大部分是由于感觉不到的。
If this perspective sounds intriguing, there are a few things you can try to put it into action.
Shift the narrative
Rather than using phrases like “I have depression,” you can say “I’m experiencing depression.”
当我考虑“患有”抑郁症时，我想我在背上背着背包。当我考虑体验它时，我可以放下背包。只是过去了。这不是搭便车。
Just dropping that possessive can make a big difference. When I don’t identify with my mental health symptoms, they have less hold over me.
Even though it seems small, words have a lot of power.
Practice the third way
We automatically get propelled into fight or flight. It’s only natural. But we can consciously choose another option. That’s acceptance.
接受和投降不同于逃跑，因为即使逃跑，我们仍在采取行动。投降是如此有效和难以捉摸，因为从本质上讲，它是非行动。投降就是将您的意志从等式中脱颖而出。
One way to do this is through accepting depression and anxiety as states of mind. Our state of mind is not who we are, and it can change.
这种投降并不意味着我们放弃并爬回床上。这意味着我们投降了解决，与我们不同的需求，并且可以简单地接受我们现在正在经历的事情。
Another very tangible way to surrender, especially when experiencing anxiety, is to practice thetsunami method。
寻求帮助
Asking for help is another form of surrender. Take it from a seasoned white-knuckler who used to avoid vulnerability at all costs.
当事情变得太多时，有时伸出手是唯一要做的事情。地球上没有一个人走得太远，有数百万的专业人员，志愿者和普通人想要提供它。
After resisting reaching out for so many years, I decided to change my strategy.
When I did, a friend actually谢谢我与她联系。她告诉我，这让她觉得自己做得很好，就像她有更大的目标。听到我并不是一个负担，我感到很高兴，她真的感到我也觉得我也帮助了她。
I realized that holding back was keeping us from a closer connection. Once I exposed my vulnerabilities, that connection happened naturally.
In asking for help, not only are we allowing ourselves to be supported, but we’re also affirming the humanity of those we allow to help us. It’s a closed-loop system.
没有彼此，我们根本无法生存，expressing vulnerabilitybreaks down the barriers between us.
水晶霍肖is a mother, writer, and longtime yoga practitioner. She has taught in private studios, gyms, and in one-on-one settings in Los Angeles, Thailand, and the San Francisco Bay Area. She shares mindful strategies for anxiety throughonline courses。你可以找到她Instagram。