When you get married, you don’t really think about the possibility of a divorce. We were raised with fairy tales that all end with, “…and they all lived happily ever after.” But no one prepared us for, “…and they slowly grew apart until their love was no longer.”
我猜“直到死亡让我们分开”在几个世纪以前更容易生活，当时预期率短得多，人们有时会在25岁时死亡。但现在，我们必须看看大局。人们通过他们的生活过程经历，使他们变得改变。20岁的你想要什么可能不是你想要的40岁。并且没有任何问题。
在这个新的“有意识的解耦”（感谢很多，Gwyneth Paltrow）中，一个家庭不需要只是因为婚姻而崩溃。离婚可以，应该是一个协作和尊重的过程。以下是一些帮助我实现的技巧。
Is there still hope? I know it depends on the cause for divorce, but make sure you did everything you could to save your marriage. Go see a therapist. Make dates with your partner. Try new ways to connect and communicate. There is nothing worse than regrets, and knowing you did everything you humanly could will take care of that.
孩子们是有利莲，他们最需要的是和谐的家园。孩子们可以看到并听到他们的父母的战斗，它可以对它们产生负面影响。他们将与离婚，快乐的父母更好，而不是与愿意一起留在一起的父母。
我记得和丈夫一起坐下来告诉孩子们，我们要离婚。他们的眼睛充满了泪水和对未知的恐惧。成为一个强大的父母单位，回答他们的问题，向他们展示统一的前线，并说出相同的关键信息。准备好，它是您与孩子们一起拥有的最重要的讨论之一。
The kids helped me shop for my new house and choose the furniture, they decided on their room colors, and on the day I was moving, they helped me move boxes along with my ex. The most important message here: There can be unity despite there being a separation. We are all building a new life together, and their opinions matter.
向前迈进了，所做的任何决定都应该有一个焦点和一个重点：这是孩子的最佳决定吗？其他任何东西都无关紧要。
您希望培养合作关系，因此同意不同意。同意让一些事情走。同意公平。同意你不能赢得他们所有人。同意这个人会在你的生活中长时间。同意被文明。抛开强烈的情绪，支持合作将在长远来看。
当生活给你柠檬时，用它们用作饮料的装饰。我的意思是，当然，这不是你生命中最好的时光，但没有什么持续的，阳光会再次上升。
Call your mom. Call your dad. Call your friends. Call a helpline. Get the dog you’ve always wanted. Take up knitting. Whatever helps you get through the day.
Don’t make this a battle of who won and who lost. Nobody wins in a divorce. Period.
I know, it sounds funny, but you will appreciate it when your kid forgets their favorite toy at your ex’s place and you have to go get it at 9 p.m. or else there will be no sleeping in your house that night.
两个父母都应该在特殊场合。此外，尽量避免将第三方带到特殊场合一段时间。一个新人最终将成为图片的一部分，需要包括在内，但在适当的时候。
Life happens and nothing fits in a mold, let alone a shared custody mold. Don’t let an extra hour here or there become a big deal, and be prepared to switch days out of your normal schedule.
With homework, friends’ birthday parties, and everything in between, it helps to stay organized, especially when there are two parent schedules. You can share content and communicate efficiently with your ex-partner, while sharing important information such as health cards, insurance, passports, etc.
Sure, they can move their favorite toy from one house to another, but try to have the essentials ready at both places to minimize the feeling of moving every time they have to go to the other house.
我个人发现交流周太long spent away from my kids. Yet, the 2-2-3 rotation didn’t have the stability I was looking for. With my ex, we decided the 5-2 rotation was the best formula for us. We’ll most likely revisit when the kids are older and ask them to weigh in on the final decision.
If divorce is going to suck, you might as well get something out of it. Take some time to write down on paper what you are looking for in your next relationship, as well as what you will not tolerate. This will help you put any new prospect into perspective.
The scene has evolved. Getting back in the action is a great step forward, but make sure you are ready and make sure you know what the new rules of engagement are.