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觉得自己似乎无法做任何正确的事情是正常的。但是对自己不安全all the timecan take a toll on every aspect of your life, from your physical health and emotional well-being to how you perform at your job.
当涉及到浪漫的关系时，感觉不够好可能是特别危险的，因为您更容易出现焦虑和嫉妒的感觉。而且它不仅会影响您。研究表明自尊会影响您和您伴侣的关系满意度。
好消息是，有一些方法可以建立您的自尊心。尽管它不会在一夜之间发生，但使用正确的策略和心态，您可以采取步骤改变自己的感觉。
Take inventory of everything you’re doing正确的。Chances are, your thoughts about yourself aren’t taking into account the hundreds of positive micro-decisions we make on a daily basis.
记住您如何帮助邻居使用杂货，或在重要的会议上帮助老板，可以帮助您专注于贡献而不是缺点。
如果您一直在照顾其他所有人的需求并忘记自己的需求，那么您的重视程度就不够。在日常工作中增加更多的自我保健可以帮助您抵抗负面想法并建立自我价值。
Here are some ways you can show yourself some love:
- Nurture your body by getting a massage or facial.
- 每天至少30分钟进行您最喜欢的锻炼。
- Unplug from your phone or take a social media detox.
- 请自己吃滋养餐。
- Practice self-compassion; talk nicely to yourself.
Even just making sure you’re eating regularly and prioritizing sleep can give your self-worth a boost.
有些时候您会陷入困境 - 这只是生活的一部分。但是，接受这一事实可以帮助您在自己的皮肤上感到更舒适。
下次您发现自己感到尴尬或自觉时，请尝试笑。
绊脚石或犯错后，很容易对自己感到困难。但beating yourself upbecause you didn’t score that big promotion or forgot to make an important phone call keeps you stuck in a negative cycle of shame and self-loathing.
Try to practice countering your negative thoughts as they come up:
- Forgive yourself and understand these are isolated instances that don’t define you as a person.
- 写下你的消极的想法,这样您就可以step back and simply observe them.
- 考虑一下您从经验中学到的知识，并重新聚焦为肯定。这如何教会您将来创造更好的结果？
There’s nothing like surrounding yourself with loving, supportive people to build up your confidence and make you feel accepted for who you are.
Make a plan to set up more coffee dates and get-togethers with your nearest and dearest. Seeing yourself through the eyes of those who care about you will help you appreciate your own unique qualities and perspectives.
考虑一下您感到特别不安全的时代。你和谁在一起？你在做什么？
Noticing the people and situations that deflate your self-esteem can help you pinpoint what to avoid. If you’re surrounding yourself with so-called “friends” who make it a habit of pointing out your flaws, it’s a clear sign to find better company.
庆祝您的成功并在工作中取得重大胜利时说话。为您的工作感到自豪，即使起初看起来很尴尬，也会对您的自尊心产生强大的影响。
Keep a reminder on hand to help boost your confidence throughout the day by:
- 保存的称赞人们在桌面或笔记应用程序上给了您
- writing out all of your accomplishments to review them when you’re feeling insecure
- taking a few minutes each day to list three things you appreciate about yourself
优先花时间花时间做可以带来欢乐和幸福的事情，无论是卷曲书还是从头开始烹饪美食。
更好的是，考虑学习新技能或养育您一直想尝试的爱好。除了让您开心之外，掌握一项新技能还可以很好地提醒您的才能和兴趣。
Overcoming insecurity and building up your self-esteem don’t happen overnight. Try to be kind to yourself during this process and don’t get discouraged if things aren’t improving as fast as you’d like them too.
Even if you don’t feel confident today, the small baby steps you are taking now will eventually grow into bigger steps and keep you moving forward.
Speaking with a qualified therapist can help you explore your fears and insecurities by understanding where they come from. They can also help you develop new tools for navigating situations that zap your confidence.
Not sure where to start?Our guide to affordable therapy can help.
Books about the nature of insecurity and ways to work through it can not only offer good advice, but also help you feel less alone in what you’re going through.
这个主题有无数的书籍，但是这些标题是一个很好的起点。
当您与自己交谈时该怎么说
通过他的深刻技巧，Shad Helmstetter博士教会您如何放弃na，适得其反的自我谈话，以支持对生活的更加积极的看法。
What’s Right with Me
这本关于庆祝自己的优势和素质的书将帮助您获得有关积极特征的新观点。Carlene DeRoo博士还提供引人入胜的活动，以帮助您确定生活中发生的事情。
自我同情：对自己的善良的能力
If you’re struggling to recognize your value and worth, Kristen Neff, PhD, provides a road map for being gentle with yourself. Her book includes exercises and action plans for dealing with all kinds of emotional obstacles.
治愈你的情感自我
贝弗利·恩格尔（Beverly Engel）的这本书是一本特别有用的阅读，如果您认为自己的自尊问题可能源于童年的经历。她记录了多种类型的心理虐待儿童在成长时经历的经历，并为克服自尊心低的强大指南提供了强大的指南。
通过认识到从童年开始带来的防御机制，您可以从过去学习以创造更积极的自我形象。
Everyone deals with insecurity on some level, but left unchecked, it can have a big impact on your day-to-day life. Building self-esteem isn’t always easy, and it can take some time, but the end result is worth it. Don’t hesitate to reach out for help if you feel like you could use some extra support.
Cindy Lamothe is a freelance journalist based in Guatemala. She writes often about the intersections between health, wellness, and the science of human behavior. She’s written for The Atlantic, New York Magazine, Teen Vogue, Quartz, The Washington Post, and many more. Find her atcindylamothe.com。