巨大的轰动要结束爆炸的压力太大。但是谁说你有到底性高潮？
Here’s a PSA: Not coming is only a problem if it’s causing you distress. Sex doesn’t have to be orgasm-focused, unless you want it to be!
There are a lot of possible reasons why someone might have troubleejaculating- 有些比其他更复杂。
Sexual performance anxiety (SPA)是真实的，影响到任何地方
What does this have to do with the side effect in question?
SPA is kinda like stage fright. Instead of a fear of screwing up in front of a crowd and being booed, it stems from things like:
- worrying that you’re no good in bed or won’t be able to satisfy your partner
- unrealistic expectations of what sex is supposed to be like
- 挂断了阴茎大小or otherbody imageconcerns
With all these worries and pressure, it’s easy to get psyched out and have trouble relaxing enough to climax (or evenget hardat all).
What can you do to help address this?
For starters, the same thing we’re always encouraging vagina-toting peeps to do: Talk about it!
It’s not easy totalk about sex, especially if you’re grappling with insecurities, but talking about it is the best way to tackle it.
如果您是焦虑的人，那么谈论它确实可以提供帮助。
If you don’t feel like you’re ready to talk to your partner just yet, consider talking to a good friend, your doctor, or a sex therapist.
You can also get anonymous online support through the American Sexual Health Association’sonline support community.
作为合作伙伴，您能做的最好的事情不是要过度反应和羞耻，而是帮助他们在卧室内外建立信心。准备倾听并支持……ifthey want to talk about it.
Not really feeling a certain technique is pretty normal. Some just feel better than others.
但是有时候一个人可能literally由于所谓的死亡握把综合征.
What does this have to do with the side effect in question?
The gist is that if someone logs a lot of hours masturbating a certain way, coming any other way could be damn near impossible.
What can you do to help address this?
Unless a partner can replicate the technique using their hand/mouth/vag/butt, they don’t stand a chance unless the person with the penis resets their sensitivity level.
Research on this is pretty limited, but refraining from pleasuring yourself for a while may help. So can changing your technique and mixing up your stroke style with a gentler grip.
作为伴侣，耐心是关键。这可能需要一些时间，因此与此同时，请享受尝试其他动作而不将所有注意力集中在高潮上。
强调与性无关的东西会完全影响性别。
Work, finances, or something like, oh, I dunno,一个怪异的大流行can take a physical and emotional toll in and out of the bedroom.
What does this have to do with the side effect in question?
If your mind is bogged down with stress, relaxing enough to climax isn’t easy.
压力的影响是全身性的，可以使从大脑一直到无处不在的所有区域混乱。
What can you do to help address this?
Ideally, try to find a way to eliminate the main source(s) of your stress.
Since that’s not always possible, finding ways to unwind and cope with your stress in a healthy way is a must.
If stress is creeping its way into your pants, try setting aside time to engage in proven stress-relieving activities, likephysical exercise,yoga, or呼吸运动.
为了帮助减轻一些压力，请尝试以下性感的压力克星：
- 蒸浴或淋浴
- sensual massage
- extendedforeplaywithkissing,色情游戏,口服， ETC。
Do this without stressing about coming. Instead focus on savoring all the feels.
Yep, certain medications can make it hard to come. This is especially the case with meds used to treat depression, anxiety, and high blood pressure.
What does this have to do with the side effect in question?
某些化学物质会影响射精所涉及的神经，无论您是与伴侣发生性关系还是独奏。
Others can alter your moods or reduce blood flow to the penis.
（顺便说一句：这也适用于包括酒在内的休闲物质。）
What can you do to help address this?
Have a candid chat with your doctor to find out whether your medication might be to blame.
您的医生可能建议更改您的剂量或给药时间表，或者完全使用其他药物。
If alcohol or other substances are the problem, you may consider cutting back for a bit to see whether that changes anything.
If you’re the partner of a person whose meds are affecting their ability to come, encourage them to get help and follow doctor’s orders.
有时无法来的可能是医疗的标志或mental healthcondition.
What does this have to do with the side effect in question?
Mental health conditions and chronic conditions can make even simple activities a struggle.
If getting out of bed is difficult some days, getting off surely can’t be easy.
Mental health issues can mess with your libido, and certain conditions can cause pain and other symptoms that make sex anything but a good time.
还有一些条件 - 甚至像UTI— can mess with your penis directly and stop you from coming.
What can you do to help address this?
No one chooses to get sick. It just happens.
在我之后重复：这不是我的错！
治疗或管理潜在的条件可能会解决问题并让您再次出现。
与您的医生交谈。讨论您的垃圾或性生活并不总是那么容易，但这是必要的。
作为合作伙伴，您能做的最好的事情就是鼓励他们获得医疗保健并支持他们。
Even though sex doesn’t have to center around an orgasm, we totally get why you want to come and how frustrating it must be not to be able to.
Here are some things worth keeping in mind if you’re struggling.
It’s normal!
It really is normal for penis-having folks to have trouble ejaculating from time to time.
在他们生活中的某个时刻，几乎每个人都碰巧。除非正在进行或困扰您，否则通常不会将其视为问题。
A partner who makes you feel bad about it isn’t worth your time
如果您的伴侣试图让您对此感到难过，请将其关闭。他们不应该得到你的鸡巴。’努夫说。
You could always try for another type of orgasm.
If you and your partner are up for some experimentation,prostate和nipple orgasmsare some othertypes of O’sthat are possible. You’re welcome.
There’s no shame in getting outside help
We turn to professionals to fix things that we’re not able to fix ourselves, and sexual health issues shouldn’t be any different.
Talk to your primary healthcare provider, or find a professional in your area usingthis online toolfrom the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists.
Just because your partner isn’t coming doesn’t mean there’s cause for alarm.
Here are some things to keep in mind if it’s troubling you.
Don’t take it personally
The persistent narrative that a penis ejaculating is the only acceptable outcome to any sex act makes it easy to worry that it’s your fault if it doesn’t happen for them. Not so.
This is their issue, not yours. Don’t make it about you. Seriously.
尽管您可能会感到沮丧，请保留自己
不要轻描淡写您的感受，但是您的伴侣无法来的感觉可能会使他们更加沮丧。毕竟，他们在脚趾弯曲中错过了orgasm.
Venting your frustration will only make things worse.
因为它是完全有可能的,这不是有道理y something they consider a problem, do you really want to make it one if the sex is otherwise awesome?
Ask what your partner needs from you
We should all be doing this anyway, because asking our partners what they need is the key to amazeballs sex and relationships.
他们需要更多的拥抱时间还是foreplay？他们想完全停止吗？不要害怕问。
也就是说，您无需做任何事情not comfortablewith. Engaging in a sex act because you’ve been pressured or guilted into it is coercion, which is a type ofsexual assault.
Orgasms are fun, but sex can be plenty satisfying even without them.
Not coming is only a problem if it’s happening on the regular or causing you some serious distress.
A healthcare provider or sexual health professional can help you get to the bottom of it if you decide you want help.
Adrienne Santos-Longhurstis a freelance writer and author who has written extensively on all things health and lifestyle for more than a decade. When she’s not holed up in her writing shed researching an article or off interviewing health professionals, she can be found frolicking around her beach town with husband and dogs in tow or splashing about the lake trying to master the stand-up paddle board.