To a typically developing kid, 31 flavors of ice cream is a dream come true. So many yummy choices! Which to pick — bubblegum, mint chocolate chip, or rocky road? More flavors = more fun!

But to my child, growing up with ADHD, 31 flavors to choose from is a problem. Too many options can cause “analysis paralysis” in some kids with ADHD (though certainly not all), turning a relatively simple decision — for example, what toy to choose from a treasure box of prizes — into something agonizingly hard and slow.

当我儿子开始一年级时，我意识到他永远无法因选择而购买学校午餐。热午餐？奶酪三明治？火鸡三明治？还是酸奶和弦奶酪？

此外，他将不得不在早上决定第一件事，因此他的老师可以通知厨房要准备多少顿饭。在我的脑海中，我想象着他永远偏举，而老师等着他下定决心，然后在午餐时可能会崩溃，因为他想改变主意，但不能改变主意。

Right then and there, I decided he would take a packed lunch to school every day to spare his teachers the dilemma of waiting for his lunch decision. Instead, I would offer him a very limited number of choices: Apple or grapes? Fish crackers or granola bar? Frustrated child and teacher disaster prevented.

虽然研究表明许多多动症儿童做出决定更快速— and without sufficiently weighing the options, which results in lower-quality outcomes — my son has great difficulty with the actual decision process. Forget 31 flavors. We are much better off with 3!

心理学家谈到了发展“物体永久性”的婴儿的巨大认知进步，这种理解是，当物体离开婴儿的观点时，物体仍然存在。一些患有多动症的孩子像我儿子一样表现出一种有趣的物体永久性。

他们知道，当他们看不到他们时，事情仍然存在。他们只是不知道这些东西可能在哪里。或者他们不考虑在需要时拥有一个物体。这导致围绕丢失的物品进行无尽的对话（“您的计划者在哪里？”“我不知道。”“您在寻找它吗？

In the fifth grade, after five years of bringing his lunch to school every day (see #1), my son would forget his lunchbox in the classroom about three days a week. Any parent of a grade schooler knows that plenty of things get left behind by all children (just take a glance at any school’s overflowing lost and found). But for some kids with ADHD, what isn’t seen isn’t remembered.

And even when something is in plain sight, it may not “register” in the conscious thoughts of a child with ADHD. My son has a habit of dropping his sweatshirt jacket on the floor near his desk, then stepping over, on, and around it for days without being in the least aware that it is他的运动衫外套在地板上和途中。然后是格兰诺拉麦片条，空果汁盒，纸等的包装纸，他似乎一旦离开他的手就完全忽略了。

作为他的父母，我知道他有永久性，因此看到被遗忘的废料堆积在他的生活空间上，似乎没有他的意识，这可能会令人困惑。我开始认为这种观看世界的方式与＃3有关，因为它涉及低兴趣，一定的重要性和一些努力。

每个人都面对需要完成的任务时，每个人都会进行某种心理计算：他们权衡了任务的兴趣和重要性，而要完成任务所需的努力，然后做出相应的回应。当任务很重要但需要一些努力（例如，定期洗澡）时，大多数人会认识到重要性超过所需的努力，从而完成任务。

But things calculate a bit differently for my son.

If the task is low interest, (somewhat) important, and requires some effort (for example, putting clean clothes away and not throwing them on the floor), I can just about guarantee that the task won’t be completed. No matter how many times I point out how much more difficult my son is making his life by不是putting things where they belong (clean clothes in drawers, dirty clothes in hamper), he doesn’t quite seem to grasp the point.

方程式

[低兴趣 +一些重要性 +一些努力=更轻松的生活]

似乎没有为他计算。相反，我最常看到的是

[low interest + some importance + very grudging effort = task sort of or mostly completed]

I’ve learned over the years that using a high-interest activity as an incentive to complete a low-interest activity is often a successful way to get the low-interest things done.

Some youngsters with ADHD have significant struggles with the concept of time. When I ask my son to do something that he perceives to require a lot of effort, such as vacuum the carpet, his reaction is, “That’s going to take FOREVER!!”

但是，当他从事愉快的活动，例如玩电子游戏，并被告知该停下来时，他会大声喊道：“但是我几乎没有玩过！”

In reality, the amount of time spent vacuuming might only have been 10 minutes vs. 60 minutes for the video game, but his perception is skewed. As a result, I’ve become a huge fan of timers and clocks to help my son appraise time more realistically. It’s an important life skill for those with ADHD to develop … and all of us, for that matter. We all have the ability to lose track of the minutes when we’re doing something we enjoy!

Raising kids with ADHD can be challenging because of their different way of processing the world, but learning about the way they think and are wired has helped me become a better parent. It’s always a joy to see my son’s creativity and energy. Now, if only he could find a creative way to keep track of his lunchbox …